Can't sleep because of stress? What to do tonight, and this week

When you can't sleep because of stress, the fix tonight is to stop trying to sleep: get up if you've been lying awake and frustrated, sit in dim light with something dull, and go back when your eyes get heavy. The fix this week is to deal with the stress earlier in the evening, on paper, so it doesn't wait for you in bed, and to keep the same wake-up time even after a bad night.

A few bad nights during a stressful time are normal and usually pass when the stress does. The thing to avoid is the habits that turn them into months of insomnia: lying in bed longer to catch up, napping, and dreading bedtime. Below: why stress keeps you awake, what to do in bed, a 20-minute worry routine, an evening plan with times, and when to get help.

Why stress keeps you awake

Sleep needs your body to power down: heart rate slows, body temperature drops, and the parts of the brain on watch for danger go quiet. Stress works the other way. It switches on the body's alarm system, which raises stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, speeds the heart and keeps the mind scanning for problems. That's useful if you need to deal with a threat now. It's the opposite of what sleep needs.

Bed is often the first quiet moment of the day. With nothing else to do, the mind picks up whatever is unfinished: the email, the bill, the argument, the test result. Researchers call it pre-sleep arousal, and it comes in two forms: a racing mind, and a tense body (tight jaw, shallow breathing, a heart you can feel). Most stressed sleepers have both.

Then a second worry joins the first: "If I don't sleep, tomorrow will be a disaster." Now you're stressed about the stress and about sleep, and effort to sleep is one more thing keeping you awake.

Stress or insomnia? How to tell

Arthur Spielman's "3P" model explains how one turns into the other: something about you makes you prone to poor sleep, stress triggers it, then the things you do to cope (extra time in bed, naps, alcohol, worry about sleep) keep it going after the stress has gone. The steps below target that third part. If yours has already lasted months, our guide to not being able to fall asleep or stay asleep covers the full CBT-I approach.

What to do when you're lying awake right now

1. Don't check the time. Turn the clock away and leave your phone outside the bedroom. Clock-watching adds arithmetic ("if I fall asleep now, I'll get 4 hours") to the worry.
2. Give your body a slower rhythm. Breathe in through your nose for about 4 counts and out through your mouth for 6 to 8, for a few minutes. A long out-breath is the part that calms. Don't aim to fall asleep doing it; aim to lie there more comfortably.
3. Answer the "tomorrow" thought. One bad night is unpleasant, not dangerous. Most people get through the next day better than they predicted at 2 a.m. You've done it before.
4. Park the problem. If a worry keeps looping, tell yourself, "I'll deal with that at worry time tomorrow at 6 p.m." If you need to, write one line on a notepad by the bed, in dim light, then put it away.
5. Get up if it isn't working. If you've been awake long enough to feel frustrated (for most people about 20 minutes, but don't time it), go to another room, keep the lights low and do something calm and a little boring: a dull book, folding laundry, a jigsaw. Return when you feel sleepy. Repeat as often as needed.
6. Don't solve anything. No emails, no budgets, no planning the hard conversation. Your problem-solving at 3 a.m. is worse than it is at 3 p.m., and it switches you fully on.

Getting up feels like giving up on sleep. It's the opposite: it stops your brain linking bed with lying awake and churning, which is how stress sleep turns into a habit. For the tools for each kind of racing thought, see when your brain won't shut off.

Worry time: a 20-minute routine for the early evening

The single most useful habit for stress sleep is to deal with the stress before bed, so it doesn't arrive in bed. Researchers have tested versions of this with good results: writing a short to-do list for tomorrow before bed helped people fall asleep faster than writing about what they'd already done (Scullin and colleagues, 2018), and a structured worry routine cut pre-sleep worry in people with insomnia (Carney and Waters, 2006).

Do it at a set time, 1 to 3 hours before bed, at a table, not in bed.

1. Minutes 0 to 5: empty it. Write down everything on your mind, big and small, as a list. Don't sort it yet.
2. Minutes 5 to 15: sort it. Next to each item write one of three things: a next step ("email Sam about the deadline, 9 a.m."), "not mine to fix", or "can't do anything tonight". For the ones with a step, write the step and when.
3. Minutes 15 to 20: tomorrow's list. Write tomorrow's to-do list, as specifically as you can. Then close the notebook. That's the day closed.

When a worry comes back in bed, you can answer it truthfully: "It's written down, and I know when I'll deal with it." Most people find it takes about a week of doing this every evening before the thoughts in bed get quieter.

An evening plan for stressful weeks

This assumes bed around 11 p.m. and a 7 a.m. wake-up. Shift the times to match yours.

For a full timed wind-down you can copy, with versions for parents and late finishers, see our bedtime routine for adults.

What not to do (even though it feels right)

• Going to bed early to catch up. More time in bed means more time awake in it. Keep your usual bedtime, or go later.
• Sleeping in after a bad night. It drains the sleep pressure you need for the next night. Get up at the usual time.
• A long afternoon nap. Same problem. If you have to, 20 minutes before 3 p.m.
• A drink to switch off. Alcohol makes you drowsy, then breaks up sleep in the second half of the night and worsens early waking.
• Scrolling in bed to distract yourself. The content keeps the mind busy and the news often adds to the stress. Our guide to screens before bed covers what the studies found.
• Cancelling everything enjoyable. During stressful weeks, the walk, the friend, the hobby are what lowers the load. Keep at least one.

Habits during the day that make the night easier

• Move every day. Even a 20 to 30 minute walk. Leave hard workouts at least 2 hours before bed.
• Get daylight in the morning. It keeps your body clock steady when stress makes everything else irregular.
• Take short breaks. A few minutes away from the screen between tasks stops stress building into one big lump by the evening.
• Talk to someone. Saying the problem out loud to a friend or partner often shrinks it more than another hour of thinking.
• Keep the basics in place. Regular meals, the same wake-up time, caffeine early. Our sleep hygiene checklist has each habit with its reason and a number.

If stress wakes you in the night

Stress doesn't only keep people from falling asleep; it often wakes them at 3 or 4 a.m. with the problem already running. The same rules apply: no clock, slow breathing, park the thought, and get up if you're lying there frustrated. If the early wakings come with a racing heart or a jolt of dread, our guide on waking up at night with anxiety covers the first minute and the next 20.

A 2-week plan

When to get help

See a doctor if:

• Poor sleep has lasted 3 months or more, 3 or more nights a week. CBT for insomnia is the first treatment doctors recommend, and it's available in person and as digital programs.
• Stress or worry is there most of the day, most days, and you can't switch off even when things are calm.
• You feel low, hopeless, or have lost interest in things you used to enjoy.
• You're using alcohol, sleeping pills or other drugs most nights to get to sleep.
• You snore loudly, gasp or stop breathing in your sleep, or are very sleepy during the day.

If you have thoughts of harming yourself, get help now: in the US call or text 988, or call your local emergency number.

Frequently asked questions

How do I fall asleep when I'm stressed?

Stop trying to force it. Breathe slowly with a long out-breath, park the worry for tomorrow's worry time, and if you're still awake and frustrated, get up in dim light until you're sleepy. Then go back.

Can stress cause insomnia?

Yes. Stress is one of the most common triggers. It usually settles when the stress does, but the habits people use to cope, like long lie-ins and naps, can keep insomnia going for months afterwards.

Why do I wake up at 3 a.m. when I'm stressed?

Sleep is lighter in the second half of the night, so it's easier to wake then, and a stressed brain picks up the problem the moment you surface. Avoiding alcohol and keeping a steady wake-up time both help.

Should I take something to sleep when I'm stressed?

Talk to a doctor or pharmacist before taking sleep aids, especially if you take other medicines. Short-term medicine can help in a crisis, but it doesn't treat the cause, and the habits on this page work without side effects.

How long does stress insomnia last?

Often days to a few weeks. If it carries on for 3 months or more after the stress has passed, it has usually become insomnia in its own right, and a structured program works better than waiting.

Tonight

Before bed, sit at the table for 20 minutes: empty your head onto paper, sort it, write tomorrow's list, close the notebook. In bed, no clock, slow breathing, and get up if you're stewing. Tomorrow, get up at your usual time. If it's been going on a while, take the free sleep quiz: it works out your sleep, your minutes awake in bed and a starting sleep window. For winding down, falling asleep and night waking, see all our sleep guides.

Sources: Spielman AJ, Caruso LS, Glovinsky PB, A behavioral perspective on insomnia treatment, Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 1987. Scullin MK et al., The effects of bedtime writing on difficulty falling asleep: a polysomnographic study comparing to-do lists and completed activity lists, Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 2018. Carney CE, Waters WF, Effects of a structured problem-solving procedure on pre-sleep cognitive arousal in college students with insomnia, Behavioral Sleep Medicine, 2006. Drake C et al., Caffeine effects on sleep taken 0, 3, or 6 hours before going to bed, Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 2013. Edinger JD et al., Behavioral and psychological treatments for chronic insomnia disorder in adults: an American Academy of Sleep Medicine clinical practice guideline, Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 2021. American Psychiatric Association, DSM-5-TR (insomnia disorder: 3 nights a week, 3 months). Dartmouth Health, How to sleep in times of stress, 2025.