How to drink less on a night out

To drink less on a night out, decide your number of drinks before you leave, eat a real meal first, and make your first drink a non-alcoholic one. At the bar, pace yourself to about one drink an hour, have water between drinks, stay out of rounds or buy your own, and set the time of your last drink in advance. You keep the night; you lose the drinks you didn't really want.

Below is how to plan the night before you go, what bar drinks really hold, a plan for each kind of night (the office party, the wedding, the birthday), what to say when someone hands you a drink, and what to do the next morning if the night got away from you.

Why nights out are where the drinks pile up

Most people who want to drink less already manage a quiet Tuesday. The hard part is the Friday or Saturday out, for a few plain reasons:

• Nobody is counting. At home you see the bottle go down. At a bar, glasses are cleared and refilled, and drinks bought by other people don't feel like yours.
• The pace is set by the fastest drinker. Rounds, toasts and "same again?" move you at the group's speed, not yours.
• Bar drinks are bigger than they look. A pint, a large glass of wine or a cocktail can each be close to two standard drinks.
• Each drink makes the next decision harder. The plan you made at 6 p.m. is being judged at 11 p.m. by a person who has had four drinks.

That last point is the reason this guide puts most of the work before you go out. Decisions made sober and in advance hold up far better than decisions made at the bar.

Before you go: make the plan at home

1. Pick your number, and write it down

Decide how many drinks you'll have, as a number, not "not too many". Two or three is a common choice for people cutting back. For reference, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) defines binge drinking as about 5 or more drinks in about 2 hours for men, or 4 or more for women, and says drinking above 4 on any day for men, or 3 for women, raises the risk of harm. Your number should sit well under those lines, not at them.

Put the number somewhere you'll see it: a note on your phone's lock screen, a text to yourself, or tell the friend you trust most. A number that someone else knows is harder to quietly move.

2. Pick the time of your last drink

A last-drink time protects your number from the second half of the night, when most extra drinks happen. If you'll be out until midnight, "nothing after 10:30" is a good rule. After that you can stay, dance and talk with water or a soft drink in your hand.

3. Eat a real meal

Food in your stomach slows how quickly alcohol reaches your blood. Have a proper dinner before the first drink, and snack through the evening if the night is long. Drinking on an empty stomach makes the first two drinks hit hard, and that is often when the plan goes.

4. Skip the pre-drinks

Drinking at home before going out ("pre-gaming") adds drinks nobody sees, often at strong home pours, before the night has started. If friends meet at someone's place first, bring something non-alcoholic you actually like and start on that.

5. Plan the money and the ride home

• Bring a set amount. Take the cash or set a spending cap for the night that covers your number of drinks plus food and the ride home. When it's gone, the night's drinking is done.
• Book or plan the ride before you go. Never drive after drinking. Decide now whether it's a taxi, a ride share, public transit or a sober friend, so it isn't a decision you make at closing time.
• Go out a little later. Arriving at 9 instead of 7 removes two hours of drinking without any willpower at all.

What bar drinks really hold

You can't keep to a number if you can't count. In the US, one standard drink holds about 14 grams of pure alcohol. NIAAA gives the sizes: 12 oz of regular beer at about 5%, 5 oz of table wine at about 12%, or 1.5 oz of 80-proof spirits. Bar servings are often bigger or stronger:

NIAAA's free online cocktail calculator shows how strong common mixed drinks are, and its drink size calculator works out any glass and strength. The lesson for a night out: if your number is three and you're drinking craft pints, your number is really two pints. Our guide to how many drinks a week is normal explains standard drinks and the weekly lines in more detail.

At the bar: how to pace the night

Start with a non-alcoholic drink

The first drink of the night is usually the fastest, because you arrive thirsty. Make it a sparkling water, a soda with lime or a non-alcoholic beer. You'll still have something in your hand when the group toasts, and your first real drink starts slower. If you don't know what to ask for, our list of non-alcoholic drinks to order at a bar has the exact words to use.

One an hour, and water in between

Your liver clears alcohol at a fairly fixed speed, roughly one standard drink an hour according to Drinkaware Ireland (whose standard drink, at 10 g of alcohol, is a little smaller than the US one at 14 g), and nothing speeds it up. Pacing at about one drink an hour keeps you close to that rate. The easiest way to do it is to alternate: one alcoholic drink, then a glass of water or a soft drink, then decide on the next.

Here is what that looks like on a four-hour night with a number of three:

Make each drink last

• Put the glass down between sips. A glass held in the hand gets sipped constantly.
• Choose drinks that take time. A tall drink with plenty of mixer (a spirit with soda and lots of ice) lasts longer than a short cocktail or a shot.
• Order smaller. A bottle instead of a pint, a small glass of wine instead of a large one, a single instead of a double.
• Choose lower strength. A session beer at 4% instead of an IPA at 8%, or a wine spritzer.
• Don't let anyone top you up. Refills at a table or a party make counting impossible. Finish your glass, or keep a hand over it.
• Skip shots. A shot is a full standard drink in a few seconds, and it's usually the drink nobody planned.

Rounds: the biggest trap, and how to get out of it

In a round, each person buys drinks for the whole group in turn. In a group of five, that's five drinks each, at the speed of whoever drinks fastest. Ways out, from easiest to hardest:

1. Buy your own. Say it at the start: "I'm just getting my own tonight, I'm going slow." Said early, it sounds like a plan, not a problem.
2. Stay in, but swap. When it's someone else's turn, ask for a soft drink or water in your round. You stay part of it, you just don't drink every one.
3. Join a smaller round. Pair up with one friend instead of the whole table.
4. Buy your round early. Buy the first round, then you're free to skip later ones without owing anyone.
5. Keep a drink in your hand. People rarely offer a drink to someone who's holding one. A half-full glass of anything stops most "same again?" questions.

What to say when someone offers you a drink

A short, friendly line said once usually ends it. Have one ready so you don't have to invent it on the spot:

• "I'm good, thanks, still on this one."
• "I'm going easy tonight, early start tomorrow."
• "I'm driving." (Only if you are.)
• "I'm cutting back for a bit. Sleeping way better."
• "I'll get the next one myself when I'm ready."

You don't owe anyone a reason, and you don't need to announce a goal to the table. If one person keeps pushing after a clear no, that tells you more about them than about you.

A plan for each kind of night

Different nights go wrong in different ways. Pick the row that matches where you're going:

The second half of the night

Most plans don't fail on drink one or two. They fail around drink three or four, late in the evening, when the group is loud, the rules feel too strict, and "one more" sounds harmless. Three things help:

• Check in at a set time. Look at your number at 10 p.m. If you're on track, great. If not, switch to soft drinks for the rest of the night.
• Have a reason ready to leave. An early plan tomorrow, a ride booked at a set time, a dog to walk. Leaving at midnight is often easier than staying sober until 2.
• Remember the drink you just had hasn't hit yet. Alcohol keeps being absorbed after your last sip, and NIAAA warns that blood alcohol can keep rising even after a person stops drinking. Feeling "fine" after the fourth drink isn't a sign it's safe to have a fifth. Coffee, a cold shower or fresh air don't sober you up; only time does.

Getting home safely

• Never drive after drinking, and never get in a car with a driver who has been drinking. Any amount of alcohol slows your reactions.
• Keep your phone charged and keep enough money for the ride home apart from your drinks money.
• Leave with someone or tell a friend when you've left and when you're home.
• Look after friends. If someone can't stand, is vomiting while confused, has slow or irregular breathing, or can't be woken, call 911. Don't leave them to "sleep it off".

The next morning

Whatever happened, the next morning is where the next night out gets better. Take two minutes:

1. Write down what you drank, honestly, in standard drinks, and the time of your last drink.
2. Find where the plan broke, if it did. Was it the empty stomach, the round, the shots, the open bar, the time you checked in too late?
3. Write one "if, then" for next time. "If a round starts, then I'll say I'm buying my own." "If it's an open bar, then I'll hold a soda for the first hour."
4. Go back to your normal week. No punishing extra dry days to make up for it. That kind of rule tends to end in giving up.

Nights out are usually one cue among a few. If you'd like to see whether yours is the weekend social night or something else (home from work, cooking dinner, the kids in bed), the free drinking pattern quiz names your main cue in 2 minutes.

Mistakes that make nights out harder

• Going out without a number. "I'll see how I feel" is decided by the fourth drink, not by you.
• Counting glasses, not drinks. Three craft pints are closer to six standard drinks than three.
• Skipping dinner to "save" calories. It makes every drink hit faster.
• Trying to quit for the night when you meant to cut back. If you planned two and you're at zero by choice, great. If an all-or-nothing rule makes you skip going out, you lose the friends and keep the habit.
• Letting others pour. Top-ups make counting impossible.
• Judging the plan by one night. Look at the month. Four nights out that each went from six drinks to three is a big change, even if one of them went over.

When it's more than a hard night

If you often drink far more than you planned once you start, black out, or can't keep to any limit on nights out even when you really want to, that's a reason to get more help, not to try harder alone. A doctor can help, and so can a counselor or a support group. The NIAAA Alcohol Treatment Navigator explains the options, and SAMHSA's free, confidential helpline answers any time on 1-800-662-4357. If you drink heavily most days and feel shaky, sweaty or anxious without alcohol, talk to a doctor before cutting down quickly.

For the everyday side of drinking less, outside nights out, our guide to how to cut back on drinking alcohol covers counting a week, setting a weekly number and dry days, and a 4-week schedule.

Questions people ask

How many drinks should I have on a night out?

There's no safe number, but fewer is better. Pick a number before you go that sits well under NIAAA's binge line (about 5 drinks in 2 hours for men, 4 for women) and its daily lines (4 for men, 3 for women). Two or three standard drinks over an evening is a common choice for people cutting back.

How do I drink less without people noticing?

Keep a drink in your hand all night, buy your own drinks, and make every other drink a soft drink that looks like a cocktail, such as soda with lime in a short glass. Most people are paying attention to their own night, not to yours.

Does drinking water between drinks stop you getting drunk?

No. Water doesn't cancel alcohol out. It helps because it slows you down and fills the time between drinks, so you drink less overall.

How long does one drink take to wear off?

At least an hour per standard drink, often longer for a US drink, though it varies from person to person. A pint of strong beer or a cocktail can be two standard drinks, so it takes longer. Nothing speeds this up.

Is it rude to say no to a drink?

No. A short "I'm good, thanks" is polite. You don't need to give a reason, and the person offering usually forgets within a minute.

What if I'm the one who always ends up drinking the most?

Then the plan before you go matters most for you: a number, a last-drink time, dinner first, your own drinks, and a ride home booked at a set time. Leaving a little earlier is often easier than staying and slowing down.

More on drinking less: all our drink-less guides.

Sources: NIAAA, Rethinking Drinking (what counts as a drink; drink size and cocktail calculators; tips for cutting down). NIAAA, "Drinking Levels Defined" (binge and heavy drinking). NIAAA, "Understanding the Dangers of Alcohol Overdose" (blood alcohol keeps rising; signs to call 911). Drinkaware Ireland, "How to drink less on nights out" (one standard drink an hour). HSE Ireland, Tips for drinking less. Healthy WA, Planning ahead for your night out. NIAAA Alcohol Treatment Navigator. SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357. This guide is about habits and is not medical advice.